PETA, PGA Seek to Prevent Opening of Putting Zoo

by André Belltower
GBM Correspondent

SANDPOINT, ID – Several dozen representatives from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the Professional Golfers’ Association have descended upon this quiet hamlet in Idaho’s panhandle in an attempt to bring national attention to a new amusement center which they have labeled “a den of animal abuse”: Bonker’s Putting Zoo.

Set to open in mid-June, Bonker’s Putting Zoo is a unique combination of classic putt-putt golf and small animals, two subjects in which its owner, Morris Stryker, is well-versed. “I’ve always loved going to the zoo, and I’m a pretty good golfer,” beams Stryker. “I have found a way to put my two passions together in a way that families can enjoy.” Patrons will pay a set fee for a bucket of rodents and other small creatures, which they then set upon the green and try to knock into each hole with an oversized putter.

A technician attempts to hit a birdie on Hole 11.

However, animal-rights authorities see this as a clear case of animal cruelty. “This is a blatant attack upon our furry and feathered friends,” said Barbara “Bo” Ghee, spokeswoman for PETA’s Spokane chapter, just as a technician prepared to launch a cordylus cataphractus, or armadillo lizard, through a wooden clown’s mouth on Hole 7. “There is no way that the animals are spared from harm. Little kids who have no concept of club control will just start whacking away at the poor little animals, in some cases sending them airborne for several yards.”

PGA Northwest Regional director Ty Teyneum is quick to distance his organization from the putting zoo. “We usually support local putt-putt golf courses, because they are good places to practice accuracy in a fun setting. But to replace golf balls with kittens or squirrels is something that the professional golfing community absolutely cannot endorse.”

Two major investors in Bonker's, Tiger Woods and Fuzzy Zoeller, were unavailable for comment.

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