Top News Headlines, May 22-28, 2005

Weather Aftcasters Deemed Far
More Accurate than Forecasters

U.S. Comedy Administration Votes
Permanent Ban on Use of 'Spleen'

Jim Carrey Explodes

Revolutionary New Paper Towel
Absorbs Itself, Disappears

'Got ______?' Campaigns Less Clever Than Ever

TV News: Cocky Producers Pitch 'Law and Order:
Those Wacky Bailiffs'; NBC Orders 220 Episodes