GLASS RIDGE, PA - Gimme Your Money, Inc., a money-tendering kiosk located at the north end of Glass Ridge Mall, has reported lower than expected revenue for the first quarter of 2005.
CEO Mark Shoowitz speculates that post-holiday spending freezes, as well as not actually offering a product or service in exchange for customers' money, are to blame for the slump.
"People did go a little nuts shopping over Christmas break," said Shoowitz, who has operated Gimme Your Money, Inc. since October, "but not here. So I just figured that business would pick up once the new year got underway. I guess I was wrong."
Gimme Your Money sees few intelligent customers.
Gimme Your Money's business model is a relatively simple one. Customers can pay in any of five set amounts: $5, $10, $20, $50, and $227. There's also a monthly installment plan (minimum $23.08/mo.), for those who wish to spread their payments out over time, indefinitely. Upon payment, customers are given a paper receipt...and nothing else.
Some customers have felt dissatisfied with the lack of product or service given for their money. Al Turnipp, 56, a repeat customer, has threatened to report GYM to the BBB. "The first time I shopped here, I thought I was donating my money to a charity, maybe the tsunami deal or something. After two or three more weekly stops, I started thinking that 'Gimme Your Money" didn't seem like a good name for a charity. Now, I just feel horn-swaggled."
Indeed, even "itemized" receipts are vague with their descriptions of what customers have paid for. The Glass Ridge mayor's wife, who spoke only on condition of anonymity, concedes that she doesn't really know where the money went. "My receipt said that $227 went to 'Yacht Payment', and $50 to 'Front Pocket Fund'. What do you suppose that means?"
Shoowitz is undeterred by criticism. "I don't care what those so-called 'financial experts' have to say.
"My mission statement is very clear: 'I want your money. Gimme.'"
