Top News Headlines, May 8-14, 2005

Lonely Engineer Converts Washing
Machine Into Hugging Machine

Huggies Introduces Low-Carb Diapers

Peter Piper, Pickled Pepper Picker,
Promoted to Pickled Pepper Packer

O Magazine, Average O Reader's IQ Turn 5

New Eco-Friendly Computers
to Feature 'Ctrl-Alt-Recycle'

U.S. Treasury Approves Zillion-Dollar Bill